Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
