My hand turned me down
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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