Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
