You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
