i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
