Well douche your snatch and let's go!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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