they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My penis needs a shock collar
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
