I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
