Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
MIDGETS
????
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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