Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
