Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
