Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
