Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i dont even know how to be here
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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