It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
