He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
