real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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