dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
