You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize