i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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