Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
