I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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