Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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