I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
