you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
