YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
