dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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