I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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