Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
