Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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