Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Who died my cat blue again?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
