I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
