There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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