Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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