ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
