On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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