I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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