I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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