Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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