There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i will never coherently bang her
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
3pm strippers are depressing
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Every concussion has its silver lining
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
