I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
