do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
