And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
