Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
