:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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