A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We are two peas in an std pod
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
