I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
