dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
