I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
