You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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