idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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