U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
