So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
