You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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