I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
