i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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