He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
