i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Mom said you looked used
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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