Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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