come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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