My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
